USDA SWAT Team Goes Shopping for Night Scopes

It’s an exciting day for me, one in which I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and envision the publication of my next book.  It’s on track to be completed soon and visions of cover themes are dancing through my mind.

Then something happens to make my light dim. I read this. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) wants to buy sub-machine guns.  What do they need them for? Are they afraid of felonious alfalfa? Or murderous tomatoes? Or do they plan on slaughtering American citizens? After all, today’s USDA is no friend to farmers, no friend to agriculture. The USDA is led by Tom Vilsack, the most animal rights leaning Secretary to date. In fact, the USDA is rife with extremists from top to bottom.

In just the past few years, the USDA attempted to fine a rabbit breeder in Missouri $3.9 million dollars for failing to get a federal license to breed a couple of rabbits. Animal rights extremist, and USDA Branch of Enforcement officer Sarah Conant said they could settle the government claims for $90 thou and agree to never own an intact animal again in their lives. The Dollarhites channeled their inner Clive Bundy and said, NO THANKS, and complained to Congress. Perhaps Bunny Team Six needs sub-machine guns when they go after a single magician with a rabbit in his hat?

Or how about Dean Moyer of Sand Valley Farms in Pennsylvania who breeds hamsters, mice, rats, and gerbils for a living?  Sarah Conant attempted to put Dean Moyers out of business and fine him $450,000 for a $2 hamster. Or how about Triple F Farm also in sunny Pennsylvania? Conant and PETA attempted to destroy the Triple F Farm for “dead ferrets” except that there weren't any dead ferrets. What the USDA found was some minor rust on a chair leg and a few bits of broken wire on six enclosures. Turns out ferrets love to chew wire. Do we need sub-machine guns to shut down Triple F Farms?

Or how about USDA elephant <cough> 'expert' <cough> Denise Sofranko? Does she need a sub-machine gun while she travels around the North American continent trying to steal elephants and gift them over to her animal rights buddies? She tried to destroy Doug Terranova in order to steal his elephants after already successfully stealing a tiger from one of his employees. She also hushed up the inhumane transport of the Toronto Zoo elephants to California after animal rights activists succeed in pressuring Toronto politicians into giving the elephants to an animal rights sanctuary with Tuberculosis and a history of dead elephants.  Experienced elephant transporters refused to have anything to do with the Toronto situation and turned down the job.  Instead a novice shipper transported them chained into semi-tractor trailers, unable to stretch their limbs, sit or lay down for over 60 hours while being trucked over the Donner Pass known as the worst stretch of highway in the world.   The Toronto Zoo keepers who deeply cared about their elephants wanted them sent to an accredited TB-free facility in Florida but were overruled by politicians who know nothing of elephants.

And what about those 30 round magazines listed in their Solicitation? Do you really need 30 rounds to take down an elephant handler? And night sights? When are the pencil pushing bureaucrats at the USDA bothering to work nights? Hell we can’t even get them to protect America’s food supply in the day time. They’d much rather spend their time destroying Aunt Millie and the litter of puppies she had in her bedroom to protect America from the joys of owning a dog.

Or maybe the USDA needs those sub-machine guns with night scopes and 30 rounds a pop to take out the Tennessee Walking Horse industry. After all, Dr. Rachel Cezar, a USDA horse <cough> 'expert' <cough> has already admitted that they hate horses.

All these stories and more will be in my upcoming book due to be released this summer. Thank you USDA for providing me with yet more ammunition.